Friday, October 9, 2009

Thankful.

I have been thinking a lot this week about life, and what the future holds for me. Comparing my life with that of my friends, and thinking how much better off they are then me. How their parents still love each other, finances never really seem to be an issue, and everything in life just seems to fall into place for them. While I sit here, broken, and lacking many things that would make my life better. Maybe a boyfriend, a better job, a vacation... anything to take away this lonely feeling that makes me feel like hiding. Being someone who just blends into the background and never tries to make a statement.


But today I took a moment to really think about everything that is going on around me. And the truth is, I have it pretty easy. I remembered that a family can still be broken with a perfect marriage, a boyfriend can do more hurt then love, and even millionaires still feel incomplete. I realized that what I am truly lacking in my life is love. But not the physical kind that you feel in your lovers kiss, or your mothers arms. No, the love that you cant see and always seem to forget is there. The fathers love.

So on this friday night, of our thanksgiving long weekend... Im being thankful. For the broken life I have, the blank slate that lies ahead of me and for the love of God, how even at my lowest of lows... he doesnt give up on me. With simple revelations like this, he is building me up to be the person I am suppose to be, in order to live out his plan for my life.